_____A man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
_____The only difference between a madman and me is that I'm not crazy
_____The heart of the fool is in his mouth.
_____The wise man is wise because he loves. The madman is mad because he thinks he can understand love.
_____If one does not understand another person tends to consider him a madman.
_____I can brag a little because everything I touch breaks, talk about a crazy heart bends and eventually breaks.
_____In matters of love fools are those who are more experienced. Love never send the sane, the sane love wisely, it's like never to have loved.
_____Examine your own mind is the worst thing you can do crazy.
_____All are lunatics, but he who discusses his madness, is called a philosopher.
_____Can I have a room with a bathroom? We give the room but the bathroom would have to give you.
_____At school, the teacher says: To see Luiz, how do you imagine the ideal school? Closed, master!
_____Mom, the stove has teeth? No, son. Then the grandfather himself on fire
_____There comes a gentleman and his wife asks: Did you coffee? And the woman answered: No, I did green, but I'm better.
_____What does one printer to another? Did this sheet is yours or is my impression?
_______This is a woman who calls a butcher shop and asks: Do you have rabbit ears? Yes ma'am. And pig's head? Yep, too. My God! Are you a monster.
_______There comes a boy and his friend asks: Did you see last night's blackout? And he answers: No, in my house there was light.
_______What is the difference between a car and a toilet? In that you sit the car to run, and run to the toilet you sit.
_______You know the other day my mother fell off the balcony and is now in heaven. Well, your mother How rebounds, dammit!
_______What did one banana to a jelly? I still naked and you're shaking.
_______2 guys come to the classroom, and the teacher tells one: John, why were you late? 's I was dreaming that traveled everywhere, met so many countries, and I woke up a little late. And you, Alex? I is that I went to the airport to meet him!
_______A lady enters the carnage and said: Give me the pig's head there. And the butcher answers: Excuse me ma'am, but that's a mirror.
_______Enter a new teacher to the course and is presented: Hello, my name is long. Alex says: No matter, we have time.
_______A Frenchman wanted to go on a safari and hired a Mexican guide and went on safari. Being in the jungle appeared a tiger, Mexican and French ran shouted Esperra, esperra! And the Mexican replied: No, it is a bitch ... tiger!
_______Honey, I have two news, one good and one bad, I stopped taking drugs, but do not know where.
_______In a newspaper ad read: Invisible Man seeks woman to clear things unseen.
_______A blind man asks a lame: Are you living? And the lame answers: Well, you see, assholes.
_______What did one bubble to another bubble? Between us there is a snitch.
_______Why this sad math notebook? Because it has many problems.
_______What is the city with the least productive land in the world? The Vatican, because it only has 28 potatoes.
_______A bald man in a football stadium says: They are three referees on the court, 22 players on the pitch, 67892 spectators, and this damn pigeon shit comes to me ...
_______What is a kiss? When the subject subject to subject with his mug.
_______What does a crazy crawling at the supermarket? Looking for low prices.
_______He was a man so dumb, so dumb, they cut off his ear because he said that he had repeated.
_______He was so vague, that when he died, his friends put the inscription on his tomb: "There continues to rest ..."
_______The colonel said: Keep moving! And all were lost because Harry not know the way.
_______This was a child who gets on a bus and tells the driver: How much is the bus? And he answers: for one euro. And the child says: Okay, that is all that I buy it down!
_______What is the best remedy for a heart attack? Cover your eyes, because out of sight out of mind.
_______A man walks into a bakery and asks: I get a loaf of bread, and if you have a dozen eggs.
_______A child comes home and says: Mom, at school say I'm crazy. And his mother says: And who told you that child? The ants
_______Why can't a hunchback study law? Because you cannot study law.
_______Enter a very ugly guy with a parrot at a bar, and the bartender asks: Do you speak the animal? And I know!, Says the parrot.
_______A father and his son louse louse were walking by a bald head. The father, very nostalgic, he tells his son: My son, when I was young, this was a beautiful forest.
_______There once was a man so, so ugly, that one day sucked a lemon, and lemon gestured.
_______The teacher tells students: Children, today we are going to study sex education. And one student says: Professor, can we go to break we are pregnant?
_______What is the woman who has the best physique? Einstein's wife.
_______Mommy, at school they call me a freak! Do not worry son, close your eyes and go to sleep .
_______He was so small, so small, so small, they walked past a bakery, you made your mouth water, and drowned.
_______Sign in a bar: "If you drink to forget, please pay in advance."
_______They knew that 90% of car accidents are the fault of men? Yes, for lending the car to women.
_______If I have 4 euros in my pocket and I drop two I have now in my pocket? A hole!
_______Papa, you have horns? Well no, son, as I have so many things on my mind ...
_______Men are like musicians: come, touch and go.
_______What did the coffee to sugar? Without you my life would be much more bitter.
_______These are two balloons that go into the desert and said to each other: - Beware the cactusssssss
_______Doctor Doctor, I think I have a split personality, Well sit down and discuss it among the four.
_______Two colleagues talking: Look Manolo a woman with a mustache! Calla motherf**ker that's my mother
_______You know how to let a fool intrigued? Tomorrow I'll tell you
_______I have one eye, two noses, three ears and hair. What am I? DEFORM
_______This one goes and dies. Moral: Do not go
_______The collective image of women - gathered and understood that catches the eye ... The collective image of men - assembled, disassembled, moved and so the circle a few times .
_______You are now on a surprise late ... - You know, sir, it is better to be surprisingly late, than never to surprise.
_______Who called you? - His name is "factor dy." - I wonder ... - Yes, it was Chinese.
_______ Why know the secret, if you can not tell it to anyone?
_______Be careful with the mirror, no one sees his own face.
_______If you do not want you to have a headache - relocated your cockroaches even in the closet ...
_______You know, that sex is dangerous at our age? - Well, so die die!
_______You're drunk! - It's a dirty lie, and I will file a complaint once sober.
_______Cats graciously allow us to love them, for which we should be very grateful to them.
_______Science - cheerful woman and spider gravity presses.
_______ She denies everything, she said that I - crazy paranoid. - a dangerous combination ...
_______First I have something to confess frankly. - In fact, you're a man? - Just below the belt, but you also will not confuse it? - No! Not at all! I love girls with personal belongings.
_______Beware, we are surrounded by Wednesday!
_______Conscience - this is when on the beach looking for a toilet stall.
_______Let's go get drunk. - Again? Well as you can. Nothing good will come of it. Come eight o'clock.
_______We sat in the kitchen, drinking tea, I would ask her to pour me another, but a slip and accidentally said, "Bitch, you are my whole life ruined!"
_______Whatever you said, there is always some kind of a bitch who had more, longer, higher, better, longer, taste better, stronger, more nourishing.
_______ Worried? - Yes. - First time? - No, I was worried before.
_______It's not you, it's me .. You're not to blame I do not like stupid, boring zadrot ...
_______Honey, tell me a bedtime story or anecdote. - I love you. - It is the story or anecdote?
_______Real friend, if you fall, you always raise ... when no longer laugh.
_______Before, I did not like the men's fragrance, and recently I realized that I just do not sniff those ...
_______My girlfriend always laughs during intimacy. Regardless of the fact that she is currently reading.
_______Stubble, dirt, smell the garbage .. Hmmm ... You're football player!
_______I'm not a friend of hers for a long time ... get drunk quickly and back ..
_______Why do you think that if the girls a bad mood, then it necessarily critical days? Believe me, the lack of critical days spoil the mood of the girls much more!
